Ignored, Abandoned, and Forsaken.
by Seif412
Summary: Post-3I and S/A fic. Shinji and Asuka find themselves in a humanless world. Now, they must depend on each other to survive. Ch. 2 NOW UPLOADED!!!
1. Chaos Turning into Order

Ignored, Abandoned, and Forsaken  
  
Ch. 1 "Chaos Turning into Order"  
  
You all know the drill. I don't own Eva and probably never will. I also do not own any individual piece of Eva. Also, I have read nearly 2,000 Eva fics. I am deeply sorry if I accidentally use a part of your fic in mine. I would acknowledge all that had influenced me, but I can't even remember all those that have. If I do use something from your fic or something similar, e-mail me and after an investigation on your claim (if I find that I may have done this) I will add your name to credits…don't forget to include your FF.net name and title of the Fic. Also, if I do this take it as a complement because obviously I thought it as really good idea. Don't get too angry with me…please. I have confirmed a claim of influence by another fic. This fic is named Wake. I don't know how I could have ever forgotten this fic because it is most likely the best Eva fic I have ever read. The sad thing is, is that I must have sub-consciencely been influenced by it. Wake and the ideas for this fic are near identical. Though we do it in a slightly different way, the similarities are staggering. Well, I have decided that this is more of a tribute to Wake…or something like that. I will still finish it, but…well you will see how similar my ideas were to the ones expressed in Wake. Wake was written by T. L. Webb (Hotwire). He did a wonderful job with the fic. One last thing, I will probably rewrite this chapter and whatever chapters may follow to make the language better. Right now it doesn't flow write and I have to thank my reviewers for pointing that out. I will try and rewrite this as well as get the next chapter out by the end of this month…granted other things do not come up.  
  
[ ] = Author notes  
  
* * = actions during speech  
  
thoughts  
  
EMPHISIZED (or) words in speech  
  
------------------------ = breaks in point of view or story sections  
  
" " = speech  
  
I am a Shinji/Asuka fan, so if for some reason (which is beyond me) you like to see Shinji with Rei or someone else…you most likely won't like this fic. This fic also carries a lot of angst parts in it. This is a post 3I fic. I know this kind of combination has been done a lot, but I had an idea for this fic so I am gonna write it. This is my first Eva fic…not first fic, but Eva fic. My work has been…in other areas. I own and have seen the entire series. I have yet to see EoE so I will try and stay away from references to it. Since, EoE ends fairly bluntly, this leaves me with much room to move. I have read many 3I fics and even a short scene by scene description of EoE so I am not totally ignorant of what occurs. I like reviews, but I hate single sentence (or less) reviews. If you do choose to flame me, then you better explain why you hate it. Just coming in and saying "it sucks" is the most ignorant thing I could possibly hear. Tell me why it sucks. What part do you distaste? Oh and if anyone out there who is a die-hard Shinji/Rei fan please explain to me why that relationship is so much better than a S/A one. Other than originality, I can't see why anyone would like that. Rei, for all intents and purposes, is Shinji's sister. If you like that then move down south where people do that. To me it is just sickening. Please, I really want to know what drives you people to like that relationship. Oh well, on with the fic…  
  
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Shinji and Asuka are lying on the beach shortly after Third Impact. The orangish-red water lapping up at the shore. The sky is a pinkish red color. Out at sea there are a number of crucified white Eva units. Shinji stirs awake with a slight headache and after getting his bearing straight he notices Asuka lying next to him. Suddenly, all the insults she ever said and all the physical abuse she dished out comes back to him and a wave of anger flows over him. The pain and anger she caused can no longer be controlled. His eyesight goes red with fury as he starts to choke her.  
  
Die…DIE…DIE!  
  
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Asuka awakens slowly to find a pressure on her neck. She is slightly confused on why she can't breathe. This realization causes her to panic. Her eyesight comes into focus to find that it is Shinji's hands grasping her delicate neck.  
  
Shinji? Why?  
  
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Shinji glares down on her with the fury of an angry god. He barely registers Asuka's hand reach up to his face.  
  
Huh?! Oh no…now I am gonna get it!  
  
He cringes in expectation of her retaliatory attack. It never comes. He feels her hand gently caress his face and opens his eyes to find her gazing sadly at him.  
  
This isn't like her.  
  
She looks almost as if she has accepted death.  
  
Her eyes…they seem so distant…so full of pain.  
  
Shinji's memory is floods of all the times Asuka actually acted like a normal, if not nice, person. A surge of sorrow strikes him and he releases his grip.  
  
Oh God Asuka I am so sorry!  
  
His muscles give out and he collapses on top of her weeping.  
  
Please forgive me! I could never kill you.  
  
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As Asuka's life is slowly leaving her she sees all the times she was mean and cruel to the young man and feels sadly sympathetic.  
  
Oh Shinji…I am so sorry. I deserve this. Please make it quick.  
  
She slowly comes to accept that it is her time to go and that maybe the world would be a happier place for Shinji if she were not there to hurt him. So she chooses her last move to express her sorrow for Shinji and reaches up and caresses his face. As her hand softly grazes his face, she watches his deep, blue eyes snap open and peer down on her.  
  
He is kinda cute. He definitely has great eyes.  
  
In an instant his expression morphs from pure hatred to remembrance to anguish. He, unexpectedly, lets go of her and falls on top of her weeping. She almost feels angry that he still has no dedication to go through with his actions.  
  
NO! I don't deserve…Arg! Why can't you do anything!  
  
She could have sworn she heard him mutter "sorry" somewhere between his sobs. She lays there for quite some time with his shaking body on top of his, letting the refreshing and reinvigorating air, flow into her lungs. She glances past Shinji and over the ocean. Afterwards mumbling, "How sickening." By this time Shinji had quieted down and apparently fell asleep.  
  
Stupid Evas! How dare you still exist. If only mamma was here, I would go out there and kick all their asses! Oh, wow am I tired.  
  
It didn't take long before exhaustion over took Asuka as well.  
  
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Shinji wept on top of Asuka for quite some time before he calmed down.  
  
God, she must hate me for crying!  
  
As he drifted off to sleep he could have sworn she had said, "How sickening." He immediately took it to meaning that she was sick of him.  
  
Why can't she just be nice for one moment. So…very…tired…  
  
He would have thought on it more, but exhaustion was too much for him to fend off anymore. After a while of quiet sleep, he woke to find Asuka sleeping softly with her left arm draped over him. He sat up and examined her to find things he had somehow missed before such as her bandaged right arm and eye.  
  
How did I miss these before?  
  
He then grows red in the face as he realizes how close he was to her body. This is immediately followed by a quickly stifled nosebleed. [Ah the classic nosebleed humor. I just had to use it.]  
  
She would kill me if she knew what I was thinking.  
  
His mind soon flows to thoughts on his next actions. He spends much time contemplating leaving her behind, but he comes the conclusion that he couldn't leave her especially now that she couldn't fend for herself with her injuries. He quickly writes in the sand near Asuka, and takes off toward town almost in a run.  
  
No…I can't leave her now…not now. She needs me whether she wants to admit it or not.  
  
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Asuka slowly awakens and realizes Shinji is gone. She is slightly saddened at the thought of being alone again.  
  
He…left. Figures everyone always leaves me.  
  
It doesn't take her long to berate herself for even thinking that she might need him.  
  
What am I thinking! I don't care for that baka nor do I need him!  
  
She then becomes quite aware that her vision isn't complete and that her right arm has a stabbing pain in it when she tries to move it. She quickly finds that her one eye is bandaged, as is her right arm.  
  
Where did these come from?  
  
She props herself onto her left arm and, with some effort, sits up cradling her injured arm trying to subdue the throbbing pain. As she looks around she is shocked to find a slightly eroded message written in the sand next to her. It reads:  
  
Asuka,  
  
I went to find food, clothing, shelter, and anything else we might need. Please don't leave, please. I will be back soon. Just don't leave. I am sorry.  
  
Asuka stands to find a large, smooth rock near by for her to lean up against as her strength is severely sapped.  
  
Well I guess he isn't like everyone else.  
  
It isn't long before she is out again. Before her mind fades into sleep she ponders on why he would try to kill her then ask her not to leave. Just as the answer becomes clear to her, she falls asleep and loosing it just as it was in her grasp.  
  
1 Oh…I…underst…  
  
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Shinji had found a nice camping spot, a good amount of canned food, a couple of sleeping bags, as well as a few other useful items. He races back to the beach and finds Asuka gone and starts to panic.  
  
She isn't here! Oh God this isn't real! She left…I am alone again. Wait…  
  
It doesn't take long for him to find her asleep, leaning on a rock. The strangest thing is that she has a small smile on her face. The beautiful smile, which he didn't see often when living with her, but tries so hard to bring out of her.  
  
That smile…it makes everything worth while.  
  
Carefully he slides his arms under her knees and back. He picks her up and finds that she is surprisingly light. As he holds her he once again stifles a nosebleed. He carries her quietly to the camping spot he found in the forest. He then, delicately and complicatedly, slides her into one of the sleeping bags and starts a fire with a lighter and some scrap wood he collected from the ruins of the near by city. The day was getting late so he started to cook a can of baked beans he found in a supermarket. [Of course, it is the perfect camping food.] When the food is finished he pours some into a hard plastic cup and takes it over to where Asuka is sleeping. He dreads having to wake her up, but she must eat something. He kneels next to her with cup and spoon in hand.  
  
Please don't let her be too mad.  
  
"Asuka, wake up. You've got to eat." Her blue eye flutter open. She turns her head to look at Shinji.  
  
Whew! Maybe I should help her…would she mind? Well, there is only one way to find out.  
  
He can tell she is worn out so he puts the cup down to his right and props her up with his left arm. He scoops some of the beans with the spoon in his right and brings it to her lips. Her tired eye shows that she recognizes what is happening and she slowly opens her mouth. He feeds the beans to her. She cringes slightly and swallows. She hoarsely whispers, "Baka…it's…too hot." He chuckles slightly at something not entirely mean coming from her. He apologizes, "Gomen." which brings a frown from her stemming from her distaste to his apologies.  
  
Well she is taking this well. Maybe she has changed…maybe.  
  
This time when he scoops up the beans he softly blows on them to cool them off and then feeds them to her. She eats them more cautiously this time, but doesn't react negatively. He successfully feeds her 5 more spoonfuls before she falls asleep once again. He gently lays her down and make sure the sleeping bag is zipped up. Just before he goes back to eat he smiles as wipes a bit of the bean sauce from her lower lip. [Does anyone know the name of the stuff that baked beans are in. I just thought sauce would be the best word to describe it.]  
  
Well that wasn't bad…not bad at all.  
  
He returns to his bag on the other side of the fire and polishes off the rest of the beans by himself. The food is terrible, but once you have eaten anything prepared by Misato everything can taste good.  
  
Didn't someone once say that hunger was the greatest spice?  
  
While he eats he finds himself staring at Asuka from across the fire. He apologizes to no one in particular for his rudeness.  
  
I am glad she didn't hear me otherwise I would be in a world of hurt.  
  
He then lays down in his sleeping bag and soon finds that he has fallen asleep. His dreams centering on a certain red head.  
  
Goodnight…Asuka.  
  
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Asuka slowly awakens to the feeling of movement. She opens her eye to see that Shinji is carrying her in his arms. She also finds that there is a quaint smile on his face. She decides not to disturb his happy demeanor, so she quietly falls back to sleep with a slightly warm feeling of being carried.  
  
What…oh…maybe not. Besides…I am too tired to even say "hentai".  
  
She awakens again to his voice, "Asuka, wake up. You've go to eat." She opens her eye slowly to the sight of a fire, Shinji sitting to her right, and smell of food. The smell is of baked beans, which she always liked as a child. The mere smell sets her mouth to watering.  
  
Mmmm…beans. It has been so long since I have something not Japanese.  
  
Though it wasn't her favorite food, it was a nice break from the curry she had to eat for the last year. Not that the curry was bad, it is just that after a while it got bland. She was far too weak and tired to eat herself, but before she could say so Shinji had proper her up with his left arm. He raises a spoonful of the food to her lips. She inhales the long lost scent of the food and opens her mouth. As the food is deposited into her mouth she quickly realizes it was too hot. She was determined not break her hard and tough outer shell. [The fact that she is being fed must have eluded her. What man can truly understand a woman or for that matter Asuka, who seems to be a whole different story altogether.] She swallows the hot meal and winces as it slides down her throat. "Baka…it's…too hot." She manages to get out.  
  
What! He is feeding me! How dare he! I guess I am kinda letting him aren't I? He will live for now, but once I get my strength back he is gonna be in a world of pain.  
  
She hears something come from Shinji that she didn't hear often. She heard him chuckle.  
  
Shinji…chuckle…that isn't like him. He is kinda cute when he smiles.  
  
She watches as he takes the next scoop and blows slightly on it. She is cautious this time as she consumes the sustenance. She is surprised as she finds the food to be the perfect temperature. She quickly feels a blush coming on. This continues on for 5 more spoonfuls before she fall back into her deep sleep. Her dream focusing on a certain 15 year old Japanese boy.  
  
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To Be Continued….  
  
A/N: What do you think of it? Feed back is nice…as long as you explain. I do plan on writing the next chapter. I just don't know when I will get the chance. E-mail me or put it in the review thing if you have any questions or comments on it. I'll be happy to help.  
  
Thanks goes out to all those who have reviewed already. I know this isn't a completely great make over of the fic, but I feel happy with it as it is now. I will definitely start on the next chapter now. I admit Asuka is a little OOC but that is because she is half-asleep the entire chapter. No person acts the same when they are very tired. There isn't much conversation because they are both a little scared of each other and there is that whole tired thing. I basically designed this chapter to get the way this fic will flow out. I also wanted the reader to see Shinji as a nice guy who does things for other people without needing a reward. I separated the Shinji and Asuka parts because later in the fic I needed the readers (you people) to see it first from Shinji's perspective and then Asuka's or the other way around. This will move your opinion and feelings of the characters around greatly. You'll see what I mean. Asuka will be back to her normal fiery self next chapter. Also, the angsty parts will begin next chapter. To those who doubt how close this fic is to Wake…well just watch and see. My ideas run very close to Wake's. Like I said earlier…you'll see.  
  
Thanks for helping and feel free to express you opinions. 


	2. Confrontations

Ignored, Abandoned, and Forsaken  
  
Ch. 2 "Confrontations"  
  
I don't own Evangelion or its characters. You know the basic stuff. Just don't sue me and we will all be just peachy.  
  
Like I stated before, this fic is eerily similar to Wake. Some of you doubted what I said, but this chapter should prove to you how similar the two fics are. Once again I will accept flames as long as they are well thought out and explained. I will not accept, "This sux!" as a review. All that tells me is that you have no intelligence. I'd like to thank all my previous reviewers. Just so you didn't miss it, I updated the first chapter in the new style of writing. I hope it goes over well. This will also be the chapter in which the switching viewpoints will be important. Well, as the song says, "Ok 3..2..1..Lets Jam!" (Cowboy Bebop "Tank!")  
  
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The next morning Asuka woke up in a sleepy daze. Every muscle and bone in her body hurt and she sill felt very tired. She almost dozed back to sleep when she realized that she was no longer outdoors. She was staring at the ceiling of her room.  
  
What…the…hell?  
  
She sat up almost crying in pain. She groggily gazed around the room. Just then she thought she heard a sound outside her door. It was the sound of someone walking around the apartment. "Shinji…?" Her voice was soft and tired due to the lack of use as well as her dry throat. Somehow Shinji had heard her and he stepped into her room to find her awake.  
  
"So, how are you feeling Asuka?" She glared daggers at him and suddenly regained her voice from out of no where, "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL, BAKA! I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH THIRD IMPACT AND YOU EXPECT ME TO FEEL JUST FINE! MORON!" [Since "baka" will be used quite a bit in this fic, I figured that I would substitute in some other insults.] Shinji cringed as he realized the old Asuka was back. As she observed this a wave of coldness flowed over her body just to be quick pushed aside that she was cold.  
  
In a less threatening, but still annoyed, tone she spoke again, "How long have I been out and further more, where the hell are we?" Shinji took his time answering to ensure that his choice of words would no offend her, "You've been out for about 2 days. Yesterday, while I was wandering the city in search of food and shelter, I found that Misato's apartment was still here. Apparently we woke up on the beach just outside of Tokyo 3. It appears that there is nothing left of the Geofront. It is amazing that this place is still here. I found that there are quite a few places still intact enough for us to enter safely. We should be able to stay here for a while."  
  
Asuka searches for some sarcastic remark to say and easily finds it, "Oh wow, the great invincible Shinji did something right for once. Did you expect me to give you a treat or something. Well forget it!"  
  
Shinji is obviously hurt by the remark. Asuka starts to move again, but Shinji stops her, "Lay down." it was more of command than a statement, "You have a broken arm and an injured eye. That is not to mention the multiple stab wounds on you body. I don't know how the Eva transmitted battle damage to your body, but it did. So lay down and relax before you open up your old wounds."  
  
Asuka is shocked by Shinji's show of force, but actually agrees with him. She decides to lay down and act like she had no choice, "baka…" Shinji actually smiles a bit at her reluctance and goes to fix her something to eat. Fifteen minutes later he comes back with some curry that he had found canned in the super market. As he places it on a small table within reach of her bed she addresses him, "Shinji, have you…seen anyone else?" His expression turns downcast as he replies, "No…no one yet."  
  
Asuka seems to be lost in thought for a moment and catches Shinji with one last question before he leaves, "I wonder when Kaji will come back. Where are you going?" Shinji freezes in his tracks and his eyes seem to find the ground quite interesting. "Kaji…will probably come back with the others. I am going out to search the city some more. Is there anything I could try to pick up for you?"  
  
"I don't need you to get me anything! I can go out to get it myself!" Asuka tries to get up only to be greeted with extreme pain. Finally, she gives up with a grunt and drifts off to sleep.  
  
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It had been almost two days since that night of camping. Shinji had since found Misato's apartment still standing and had brought the sleeping Asuka there. He had also found quite a bit of useful buildings still standing. He had stocked up on some canned foods as well as medical supplies. It had started getting late out and Shinji was going out one last time to search a few areas of the city. He was about to leave when he thought he heard some calling his name. As he walked into Asuka's room he found her awake and sitting upright. Needless to say, Shinji was ecstatic to see her up. That is until she answered his question, "So, how are you feeling Asuka." A darkness seemed to take over the room as the fire lit in his roommate's eye. "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL, BAKA! I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH THIRD IMPACT AND YOU EXPECT ME TO FEEL JUST FINE! BAKA!"  
  
This had a depressing effect on Shinji. He had hoped she had changed since third impact, but apparently she was still the same.  
  
Why me? One moment I think I may have a chance with her and the next my heart is thrown back in my face. It just isn't fair.  
  
Shinji was still brooding in the silence of the room when she spoke again and this time with less malice as well as a lot less volume, "How long have I been out and further more, where the hell are we?". He then went about telling her of how he had been exploring the city and found this, as well as other, places still intact.  
  
It appeared Asuka was searching for something to say and found it, "Oh wow, the great invincible Shinji did something right for once. Did you expect me to give you a treat or something. Well forget it!" A pang of guild and sadness washed over Shinji.  
  
Will I ever be happy? Will she ever care?  
  
As Asuka starts to move to get out of bed Shinji stops her, "Lay down." it came out more forceful than he intended but it had its desired effect on her, "You have a broken arm and an injured eye. That is not to mention the multiple stab wounds on you body. I don't know how the Eva transmitted battle damage to your body, but it did. So lay down and relax before you open up your old wounds."  
  
She is obviously shocked by his tone, and surprisingly obeys with just a mumbled, "Baka…" As she rests he decides it is best if she had something to eat. The only thing he could find in the cabinets that he could make quickly was some instant curry.  
  
I know she hates this stuff, but this all I got so she has got to live with it. Well, either that or kill me and eat me…nah…well…  
  
He returns about 15 minutes later with her meal and places it on a TV tray that he had picked up from the city earlier. He figured she might need it. He is startled by her soft tone as she speaks once again. ""Shinji, have you…seen anyone else?" The question is something he never expected.  
  
Until now…I never really thought about everyone else. I was just worried about…Asuka. I certainly haven't seen anyone…yet.  
  
"No…no one yet." He replied in a dejected voice. Thinking she is done he turns to leave once again, but is caught by her voice. "I wonder when Kaji will come back. Where are you going?" His heart aches to hear his name again.  
  
She still cares for him. After all this time all she can think about is where her dead crush is. Can't she see that he never cared for her like that. Can't she see that he loved Misato?! Why do I even care if she still loves him?! Maybe…I should just tell her the truth…he is dead. Maybe I should tell her that he is dead by his lover's hands! No…I couldn't do that to her…not now.  
  
Shinji quickly thinks up a false response, "Kaji…will probably come back with the others. I am going out to search the city some more. Is there anything I could try to pick up for you?" As he speaks his eyes center themselves on a spot on the floor. The old familiar fingers of depression push their way back into his heart.  
  
I will never be happy will I?  
  
  
  
Asuka's fire is lit once more by the indication that she needs help. "I don't need you to get me anything! I can go out to get it myself!" She vainly attempts to stand up only to topple back onto the bed in defeat. Her sudden activity driver her back into a sleep. Shinji walks over to her and pulls the covers over her and brushes away a few strands of hair that reside over her face. With a sorrowful sigh he stands and exits the room.  
  
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[Na here is where I sw'ch it up yo! Ya, j'st like a DJ I am sw'chen it up! Ok, lets be realistic here. I am a white male living in the suburbs of Chicago…my ability to speak, let alone type, in this way…well sucks…big time. I am sorry if I offended anyone. I just wanted to see what reaction I would get. Though, I will be switching some thing around. This section will be in *Gasp* Shinji's perspective. I didn't want anyone confused thinking this is supposed to be from Asuka's perspective. LOL]  
  
For the next month the two last surviving humans fall into a routine: Shinji wakes up=showers=makes breakfast from what little materials he has=wakes Asuka with breakfast= checks her bandages and/or cleans them and/or replaces them with new ones=Shinji does housework/repairs/gardening/builds/searches=returns home to make lunch=returns to his previous duties=fixes dinner=checks on Asuka's bandages once again=showers=goes to sleep. True, variations in this schedule do occur, but this is the basic layout of the days. Asuka spends most of her time sleeping and eating. She miraculously gains little to no weight. When She speaks to Shinji the conversation usually revolves around Kaji, how stupid/incompetent Shinji is, the lack of humans, and/or how she doesn't need any help. Shinji's patience on the Kaji issue is quickly eroding. He can take the insults and her fiery attitude towards help, but after a month of Kaji stuff he is quited annoyed. The last night of the month Shinji is checking Asuka's bandages when the issue comes up again.  
  
Asuka is lying on her back as Shinji finished re-bandaging her arm, which is nearly done healing, but requires more time. He then moves up to her eye. He delicately pulls back the medical tape and examines the now healed scar. He slowly probes the wound with his finger to ensure that it is fully healed. The stab wounds on her torso had healed a while back only leaving behind white scars. The conversation this night is relatively light, but that will all change very soon. Shinji instructs her, "Follow my finger with your eyes." She complies and it is obvious that it is healed completely. The unfortunate thing is that she doesn't realize that her eye color has mutated into a reddish pigment. "Your eye is healed…but…well see for yourself."  
  
This is gonna be bad.  
  
He hands her a small mirror from her dresser and walks out of the room intending to escape the onslaught of curses and attacks sure to ensue. He barely has the door closed when he hears, "MEIN GOTT! I LOOK LIKE THAT DOLL! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" It continues in this way for another hour with addition of large objects (or possibly fists/feet) striking the walls. After things had settled down Shinji decides to venture into the danger zone to examine the damage both to person and building. As he enters he finds her lying on the bed staring at the ceiling above her. She barely registers his entry.  
  
She then speaks to him without even looking at him, "I'm hideous…how can Kaji ever love me now. I am just a freak. I am so ugly. No one can ever love…no care for me again. I am so alone."  
  
I can't take this anymore! All she ever does is whine about Kaji this and Kaji that! Argh! After all I have done for her and what do I get…I get another "baka" or "Dumpkoff"[is that how you spell dumpkoff?]! Not a single thank you or otherwise. No, not anymore. Enough of this Kaji shit!  
  
"He isn't coming back! Kaji is dead! He was killed before Third Impact. He is gone!" Asuka turns her head to look at Shinji with a confused look, "What…? What do you mean Shinji? How do you know?"  
  
Somewhere during that month Shinji had come to a conclusion as to why he cared about her speaking of Kaji. He figured out that, if nothing else, he care deeply for her and she apparently didn't feel the same towards him.  
  
"How do I know! I admit that I was more than a little out of it during the last months before Third Impact, but one thing I remember is Misato coming home late one night. She spent the entire night listening to a message on the answering machine. It was a message from Kaji and all she did was cry. She cried all night long. It wasn't until I overheard Ritsuko talking to my father about it that I learned what happened. He had gotten to close and both SEELE and my father wanted him dead. My father wanted to test Misato's loyalty so he assigned Misato to kill him. She did it. Misato killed Kaji and I don't see how you can love him. He loved Misato and no one else. She loved him back equally, but could never come to terms with her feelings for him. If anything Kaji only saw you as his daughter or niece…nothing more." Asuka seemed shocked to learn the truth.  
  
"He's…dead. It doesn't matter. It just means that there is one less person to think of me as a freak. No one will ever care anyway." Asuka's rant of self pity was cut off by Shinji, "That is not true! You know how I know that, because I care for you. I could care less if one of your eyes is red and the other is blue. If Kaji wouldn't care for you just for that reason then he didn't deserve to care in the first place! Then again…who cares what I think…right Asuka." With that he stands and walks to the doorway. There he pauses, "I am gonna sleep somewhere else tonight. I'll be back in the morning." Shinji leaves the completely shocked Asuka in her room.  
  
He spends another hour of wandering the dark ruins of the city to find the lake where he first met Kaoru [take note people this is how you spell his name]. After a bit of struggling he manages to climb onto a 5-foot tall piece of rubble jutting out from the lake near the shore. Shinji sits with his legs hanging off the edge and stares out over the placid lake and up at the stars. After a while of pondering his next actions Shinji lays down, the piece of rubble being just big enough for him to do that, with his legs still dangling off the side. [Shinji must have been really tired because that would have to be a very uncomfortable position to sleep in] As he falls to sleep he make a decision on the issue that he had been pondering for a week now.  
  
After she is all healed up. After she is ready to live in this hellhole. After all that…I will leave. Why would she care anyway?  
  
To be continued…  
  
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Ok this is the very very very…etc version of the fic. I have yet to go back and spell check everything. Things may be changed and/or added/removed. All this depends on reactions to this part of the fic. Please review. I can't think of much else to say. Oh, by now you can start to see similarities to Wake. Seeing as I have had much time to think about this fic, I have been able to change this fic around a bunch as to eliminate many similarities to Wake. I still suggest it, it is a very good fic. Hope you enjoyed my fic and please review. I will try to e-mail anyone who reviews to thank. Again my schedule to get out the last chapter is uncertain, as I have…no that info is secret. Lets just say I have a shit load of other stuff to do, so this next chapter may take some time. Revisions may take a while as well, but not as long as an entirely new chapter. 'till next time…keep reading and reviewing. 


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